Postpartum

Ways To Reduce Stress for Stay-at-home Parents

by BMB Editorial Team

4 JUN 2020

Stay-at-home parent taking a calm restorative moment

Broken nights are part of life with a baby or a young child, and they make every other part of the day feel harder. When you are the parent at home, the night shift runs straight into the day shift, with no commute or lunch break in between. Here’s a reminder that parents need rest and time alone, too. And that’s completely okay.

Why stress hits stay-at-home parents differently

Stay-at-home parenting is one of the most rewarding roles, but the work never stops. There’s no clear start or end to the workday. There’s no break in the middle of the week. The same person who deals with the toddler’s meltdown at 8am also makes dinner at 6pm and gets up at 2am with the baby. Without time set aside for yourself, the demands pile up and your body and mind don’t get the chance to fully recover.

How broken sleep feeds parent stress

Feeling worn down by lost sleep is not just in your head. A large German study followed more than 4,600 mothers and fathers through the birth of a child. Sleep dropped most sharply in the first three months after the birth, when mothers slept about an hour less a night than before pregnancy and fathers about 13 minutes less. For both parents, sleep had still not fully recovered six years after their first child was born (Richter and colleagues, Sleep, 2019).

Tiredness and stress also feed each other. In an Australian survey of 692 mothers of babies aged 3 to 6 months, about a third (34%) said their baby had a sleep problem, and those mothers reported poorer mental and physical health than mothers who did not (Bayer and colleagues, Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health, 2007). The hopeful part comes from a trial with 328 mothers whose 7-month-old babies had sleep problems. Families who went through simple behavioural sleep strategies at their local child health centre had fewer babies with sleep problems at 10 and 12 months, and the mothers reported fewer signs of depression (Hiscock and colleagues, Archives of Disease in Childhood, 2007).

So if your nights are falling apart, it helps to understand why. Many babies go through a patch of worse sleep at certain ages, and our guide to baby sleep regression in Singapore explains what is happening and what helps at home. If the broken nights keep going and you would like one-to-one support, The Sleep Training Clinic offers a private consultation at our Orchard (Paragon) clinic or a home visit anywhere in Singapore, led by Estee Chew, a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant & Trainer. Each consultation comes with a Sleep Audit Report and recommended next steps. It does not have to mean sleep training, either: many parents come for guidance and reassurance long before formal sleep training is on the table.

Better sleep for your child is one part of the picture. The other part is looking after yourself while you get there. The six habits below are small, and none of them needs a big change to your week.

Parents need time alone, too. Taking that time isn’t selfish. It’s what keeps the rest of the family going.

Six ways to actually reduce parent stress

Protect 30 minutes a day

Block a 30-minute window every day that is yours alone, before the kids wake up, during nap time, or after bedtime. Use it for whatever helps you unwind: a walk, a coffee in silence, ten minutes of reading. Don’t let anything else take this time. It is a small window, but it adds up over a week.

Move daily

Even 20 minutes of gentle movement counts: a walk with the baby in the carrier, postnatal stretches once your doctor says you are ready, or a stretch in the living room. The World Health Organization says physical activity reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety, and the NHS notes that regular exercise, with walking one of the easiest kinds, can help new parents feel less tired. The bar is genuinely low: do something, every day, even on the hardest ones.

Sleep when possible, nap when needed

Sleep is the foundation for handling stress. Adults need 7 or more hours a night (CDC), which few parents of a young baby get. Accept that full nights will be rare for a while, and follow the NHS tip to rest when your baby sleeps rather than catching up on housework. If you have a partner, share the nights; if you are formula feeding, they can take some of the feeds. If your children are older, a regular bedtime that leaves you 7 hours or more is worth protecting. Lack of sleep makes every other stress feel worse.

One safety point when you are this tired: never settle down to feed or cuddle your baby on a sofa or armchair if you might nod off. The Lullaby Trust says that an adult falling asleep with a baby on a sofa or armchair raises the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by up to 50 times. If you feel yourself drifting off, put your baby down in their cot first.

Schedule a monthly massage

A monthly massage isn’t a luxury. It’s regular care that helps your body and mind stay calm. Research backs up that calm feeling: a review of 37 trials found that a single massage lowered anxiety, blood pressure and heart rate, and that a course of massage had its biggest effects on longer-term anxiety and low mood (Moyer and colleagues, Psychological Bulletin, 2004). At BMB, mums can book a postnatal massage in the months after birth, or a body massage when it is simply time for an hour to yourself.

Stay connected to other parents

Feeling isolated can weigh on you as much as the work itself. Stay connected with other stay-at-home parents. WhatsApp groups, weekly meetups, even casual text exchanges. Knowing other parents are going through the same broken nights makes you feel less alone, and they often have the most practical tips.

Ask for help, name what you need

Most partners and family members want to help but don’t know how. Name specifically what would reduce your stress: one night feed a week, a weekend lie-in, an hour on Saturday morning, dinner cooked on Wednesdays, the baby for the evening once a fortnight. The NHS suggests asking a relative or friend to watch the baby while you nap. Specific requests are far easier to honour than the general “I’m exhausted.”

When stress tips into something more

Everyday stress is part of parenting. But if you find yourself unable to enjoy things that used to bring joy, if you’re crying daily, if you feel persistently disconnected from your baby or older children, or if you cannot sleep even when your baby is asleep, please reach out to your GP, obstetrician, or a perinatal mental-health professional. The NHS lists not being able to sleep when your baby sleeps as one sign worth raising with a doctor.

You would not be alone. HealthHub Singapore says about 1 in 10 mothers who recently gave birth may have postnatal depression, and its Parent Hub has a short self-check, the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (a self-check, not a diagnosis). Dads are affected too: a review of 43 studies found depression in about 1 in 10 fathers between early pregnancy and the baby’s first birthday (Paulson and Bazemore, JAMA, 2010). If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, call Samaritans of Singapore on 1767 at any time, or WhatsApp their CareText line on 9151 1767. Reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s simply looking after yourself, the same way you’d look after anything else you rely on.

Parent stress and sleep: common questions

Why does lack of sleep make parenting feel so much more stressful?

Broken sleep and stress feed each other. In an Australian survey, mothers whose babies had sleep problems reported poorer mental and physical health, and a large German study found that parents’ sleep had still not fully recovered six years after their first child was born. Short daily breaks, shared nights and naps when you can all help.

How much sleep do parents need?

The CDC says adults need 7 or more hours a night. With a young baby that rarely comes in one stretch, so the NHS suggests resting when your baby sleeps, sharing night feeds with a partner if you are formula feeding, and asking a relative or friend to watch the baby while you nap.

Can sorting out my baby’s sleep help my own stress?

It can. In an Australian trial, mothers of 7-month-olds with sleep problems who went through simple behavioural sleep strategies saw fewer infant sleep problems and fewer signs of depression at 10 and 12 months. The Sleep Training Clinic offers one-to-one consultations at our Orchard (Paragon) clinic or at home, each with a Sleep Audit Report and recommended next steps.

Is it safe to doze off with my baby on the sofa?

No. The Lullaby Trust says an adult falling asleep with a baby on a sofa or armchair raises the risk of sudden infant death syndrome by up to 50 times. If you feel yourself nodding off, put your baby down in their cot first.

When should I get help for stress or low mood after having a baby?

Talk to your GP or obstetrician if you no longer enjoy things, cry most days, feel cut off from your family, or cannot sleep even when your baby is asleep. HealthHub Singapore says about 1 in 10 mothers who recently gave birth may have postnatal depression. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, call Samaritans of Singapore on 1767 at any time.

Sources

This article is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your mood or your health, please see a doctor. Updated 05/10/2026.